addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
