i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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