we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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