omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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