capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
