i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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