Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
