Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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