My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
