Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
