i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Dick very happy bro
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
