I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
