YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
