But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
