wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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