It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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