Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
