i just wanna soil my oats bro
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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