he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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