I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
