just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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