Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
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I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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