you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
