So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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