running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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