Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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