i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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