The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
