I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
