They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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