Even the bartender felt bad for me
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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