I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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