just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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