I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
