is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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