Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
