I'm going to jail i love you
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
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