how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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