she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
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the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
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Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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