dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
