I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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