So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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