I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
