Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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