Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize