Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
