Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
