I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
We are all done wearing pants today
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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