Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
so let's talk penis.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
