So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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