I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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