How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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