as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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