I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
