Cold hands, warm shart.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
