i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
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