ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
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